Sacramento, CA - In what promises to be a heated campaign, two of the most prominent candidates for the California governor's seat recently squared off in a debate on the steps of the State Capitol building. Flynt wasted no time in going on the offensive, launching a verbal assault even before the two stepped onto the debate platform. "Arnold is in a state of arrested development in more ways than one. I couldn't believe he admitted he didn't vote. I could respect him more if he would have lied." Flynt was referring to an interview on CSNBC in which the former child star admitted he had not voted in an election "since Ross Perot ran [for president]" and at times appeared to have trouble understanding the meaning of basic political terminology.

Coleman and his campaign manager and former Diff'rent Stroke co-star, Todd Bridges, took the podium first. Things got off to a rocky start when Coleman said that he was determined to make California a better place for all people including "short people like myself and handicapped people like my opponent here." An enraged Flynt berated Coleman from the audience.

"I'm not handicapped! I'm handicapable, you little son of a b!tch! Or didn't that episode with Melanie the hall monitor teach you anything about respect for people with disabilities, you pompous little pipsqueak?"

Not to be outdone, the often violent and former drug pusher Todd "Willis" Bridges fired back. "Who do you think you're talking to, you Dr. Strangelove lookin' mutherf!@#er! I'll come down there and beat you worse than I did Vanilla Ice." Coleman, a former Modesto, CA security guard, quickly mended the situation by inviting his opponent up on the stage with him in a show of unity. When Coleman noticed that Flynt was unable the ascend the stairs to the platform because no wheelchair ramp was present, he hung his head and offered "sorry man, I forgot." The visibly moved Flynt replied "Arnold, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." Coleman then came down from the podium and embraced the paraplegic.

The harmonious scene didn't last long as Flynt was quickly assailed with questions from reporters about his connection to the mysterious Dr. Strangelove.

When asked whether he was really Dr. Strangelove, Flynt had this to say: " I am sick of being called a Nazi sympathizer that favors the thermonuclear destruction of the world, just because I am bound to this wheelchair. I am a porn magnate, damnit. Why don't you ask him [Coleman] if he's really Webster?"

No word yet on whether or not Gallagher is actually Sonny Bono raised from the dead.