INFECTED TRUTH

        I finally went to the INFECT web site to give the prevaricating perverts a piece of my mind. I smiled inwardly. There was a convenient little place to post one's comments for all the world to see. I clicked on the tab and a pop-up window appeared displaying the comments of the previous dozen or so that had written in- brainwashed Gen-Yers I supposed- all praising the TRUTH for educating them about the evils of tobacco. I had started to type when my eye caught a peculiar word in the last post: "gayness". I read on:

Dena (06.24.02) i have seen these ads on tv and i hate them. they are so gay words do not express the level of gayness. thanks to you, i am 16 and just started smoking because i hate you and your stupid comercials. and all of you are gay who cares about this crap, why do you have to discuss it, and over the internet, come on get a life! i encourage you all to email me.

        Though the grammar was terrible, I liked what the young lady had to say. I read on. To my delight, almost all of the posts echoed Dena's sentiment. People were generally disgusted with the half truths, annoying gimmicks, revisionist history, and down-right stupidity of the commercials- and they were letting the "TRUTH" know about it. I came back the next night to find the same thing - venomous, albeit inarticulate attacks on the folks at INFKT sandwiched around occasional props from repentant smokers or weepy eyed teens that watched some hopelessly addicted family member die a long and painful death due to the mind- manipulating techniques of the evil masterminds at the big tobacco companies. In fact, I was so entertained by the posts that I came back at least once a week to read them. So, instead of editorializing as I had originally planned to do, I have chosen to feature some of the better posts in this article. Thank you, gentle posters, for providing the content. I'll do my part to fill the bandwidth with your insightful trash. I will then link this article to the INFKT TRUTH web site from the convenient aforementioned comment board at TRUTH. TRUTH, please feel free to sue me. Remember, the point of this site is to lose money so I can be classified as a real dot com.
 

George 05.20.02
I was totaly shocked when I seen what a smokers body looks like. I have been a smoker for about 12 years now an now I am wondering what my body looks like. I am on the works of quiting but it is hard. I have not had a smoke for about 9 hours now but i want one so bad. I nee...

See, the TRUTH folks are hip. They are careful to speak the language of the underachieving, mush-brained youth of today. Here's a little sample:

INFKT truth photo and video pick-up

Hey. Thanks for checking out the INFKT truth tour. We've got some incriminating photos and videos of you getting all knowledged up. If you want them, just enter your ticket number below and do what it tells you. See you soon. truth.

All knowledged up? What? I guess they're just doing their part to "keep it real". Here's what one young American had to say about this INFKT "Tour". (Does it appall anyone else that they are using stolen money to "tour" America?)

ben (08.17.02) i went to the truth bus at the warped tour in boston and the only thiung the guy knew was 1,200 ppl die a day from tobacco, he turned teh rest of the time into hip hop trivia, which if ppl knew the info theyd be tools cuz it was a punk concert, but anyways i waited 20 mins and they only had medium shirts, wtf they should have large, than he told me come back and hed have a shirt for me, i came back and he was so lazy he gave me a gay hat. im gonna go smoke now because of that

Wow, that's at least two kids the TRUTH has driven to smoking...

There are generally six types of posts. We'll call the first OUTRAGED SMOKERS. They are generally violently opposed to INFKT. Their posts may or may not make sense, but they are usually very amusing. A few examples follow:
 

Smoker (06.25.02) You people who put this shit on tv should be sued out of business. It's okay for you guys to advertise about not smoking, yet the tobacco industry is not allowed to advertise their products. Let me remind all of you people that on EACH PACK of cigarettes there is a warning. 'SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.' How about you people let the Constitution do what it's supposed to, and LET PEOPLE THINK FOR THEMSELVES! I understand what you're trying to do, but let me clue you people in on a little something: ANYTIME you tell teenagers NOT to do something, they're going to do it. I agree that underage kids should be punished, SEVERLY, for smoking, because unless yer 18 or older, it's illegal. Throw the book at them for breaking the law. Punishing every smoker is wrong, unfair, and completely Unconstitutional. I think it's hilarious that your plans have backfired. Underage smoking is up over 8% because of YOUR ADS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAA! The kids are smoking because you told them NOT to. F#$%ing idiots. That's right people, all these goodie goodie people who want to 'Infect Truth' are infecting our young people by telling them to NOT do something, so of course they're doing it for no other reason than because they aren't supposed to. So I'm gonna light up a smoke, sit back, smoke the thing and enjoy it. And in the meantime, I'll drop my shorts and bend over so you all can EAT MY ASS! HAHAHAHAH!

fu (07.26.02) the real truth is that you suck big fat $%#&. the chemicals in cigerettes must be doing something right cause ill feel great. And that commercial with the babies is so stupid. p.s. YOU SUCK

J.S. (06.25.02) S.J.: If I gave a damn about anything you had to say, I'd have to go kill myself. To care about what comes out of your microscopic brain to fill your mouth would be enough to drive me to suicide, as it would be pointless and wholly worthless, since nothing of value resides inside your head.

The VICTIMS AND CRYBABIES post on the TRUTH quite regularly. This is probably the most amusing group of all to me. Ed X is a classic example:

ed x (07.10.02) My parents smoked around me from the day I was born until the day my father had a heart attack... now I have uncontrollable asthma... and so does my sister. Coincidence? I think not... and yes, I am a biologist

*Sniff, sniff*...Poor Ed. And YES. He IS a biologist. Can't you just picture the scrawny lil bastard looking at spores in a microscope, wondering why he didn't get accepted to medical school...Don't fret, Ed. It wasn't because you lacked the brain power, the work ethic, the sheer will, and the proper education to get into medical school. It was because your freakin parents smoked. They screwed you, buddy. Now just look in the mirror, you introverted and perverted failure. Your parents did this to you. Here's some advice if things are really so bad for you, Mr. Biologist. Go smoke a tail pipe.

Georgia (07.26.02) If you know how to read, you find out that Truth isn't against people who smoke, or trying to stop people from smoking, or anything like that. All Truth wants to do is inform people of the lies that big tobacco companies are spreading to cover up the real facts behind cigarettes. I lost my Grandmother to emphysema, and my Uncle to lung cancer. They both smoked since they were young. When they passed away, it was the hardest thing I, and my family ever went through. They died in 1995. Truth wasn't around at that time. I wish it was. But now that Truth is here, I hope their message gets across to people who do smoke, or to those of you who know people that do smoke. No one should have to go through what I did. Tobacco destroyed my family. I hope it doesn't destroy yours. I'm proud to be part of truth.

Poor Georgia. Big tobacco destroyed her family in 1995. It had nothing to do with the fact that her Grandma and Uncle ignored over two decades of warnings. It says it right there on the pack- "smoking will friggin kill you" or something close to that. Man, if only the Truth would have been around way back in 1995.

etproductions.net (08.02.02) Hey Truth people. I respect the message that you guys are sending to people. I feel like there's finally someone using the media as a positive tool instead of all of the b.s. propaganda we see on television everyday. I'm also a smoker, I've been smoking since I was 14 years old, I'm now 27 and trying to quit this nasty habit. I never thought it would get this way but it has definetely become an addition which I'm trying to get rid of. My lungs are full of poison and I blame it on the government's involvement with cigarette companies, as well as myself. Keep up the good work.

ET: phone home, man. You were born in 1975. You've never seen a tobacco commercial on TV and they've had stern warnings on the packages your whole life. You have NO ONE to blame but yourself. Not the government, not "big" tobacco. So shut up and take another drag, choke down another dose of vaporous mortality and enjoy. Either that or stop smoking.
 

Linda (07.22.02) Both of my parents were smokers before I was even born and continue to be today. I'm 14 years old, and have had asthma all my life. I just found out that because of my asthma, I can't join the Navy and earn money for college. Now I have to rely on scholarships. All because my parents smoke. I am not a smoker and never will be, but since my parents made a bad decision, I must live with a medical problem all my life. Some people think 'oh, it's only a cigarette.' It's much more than that. Do a favor for me, and don't smoke.

Here we have a 14 year old that has to "rely on scholarships" to go to college. I'm crying so hard I can barely read the words as I type. Linda, judging from your determination to be a failure, you should certainly give up on the scholarship thing. You have no chance. Since your parents have already incapacitated you and kept you from going to college by joining the Navy like every other ambitious young boy and girl in America, your best bet is to dress in a tub top and short skirt, find a pimp and make some real money. Seriously, forget the college crap. It's a sham. Unless, of course, you can go through ROTC or get your schoolin paid for by the GI bill. Believe me, Linda, you should go home and thank your parents after school today. Thank them that they prohibited you from having to wear soap-on-a- rope while cleansing yourself in a recirculated communal pool of human filth with the other mongrels aboard the U.S.S. I'm An Ass-Up. Thank them that you will never have the opportunity to bombard a third world country with high-tech ordnances made by the richest and most powerful nation in the history of the world just so soccer moms can drive Suburbans with "I'm Timmy's Mom, #3, The Thunder" stenciled on the back window. Thank them that you will never be gang raped in a Turkish Brothel. Do this today.

There are also some pretty entertaining REBUTTALS on the TRUTH page. I'll resist the urge to give my own rebuttal to some of the nonsense.

Here is a response to Linda's post above, just to show that others at least try to respond, even if they are only semi-coherent in doing so:

Michael V (07.22.02) Wow, seldom have i seen people use such a extravagent amount of intellect. Name calling, and such is the only weapon to those with nothing else to fight. Common guys your heads. These ads are not really designed to get you to stop smokeing, they are intended to stop kids from starting. Not that it works but hey, its a attempt. Athsma and Second hand smoke, the story was interesting could second hand smoke of cuased asthma? Sure, so could pet dander, mold, dust, polland, and alot of other things. Right now its just popular to blame smokers. I am sorry that the armed forces where denieghed you, however there are alot of thier options. Studing hard in school being one of them. But, most likley poor grades that kept youf rom getting scholarships we are result of the smokeing your parents did, that got into your eyes, and made it impossible to study. Stop makeing excuses.

Here is one of the best exchanges:

Shelli (07.24.02) Why would all of you want to argue the fact that second hand smoke is bad or worse?? WHO CARES!!! The fact remains that your body was not meant to have any kind of chemicals inducted into it! IT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO HAVE TO BE AROUND CIGARETTE SMOKE!!! My Earth did not create that CRAP!!! Why should I have to breathe it??

J.S. (07.24.02) Shelli: Sorry, but your post below only displays your ignorance, not your understanding, of which you appear to have little. Two points: You say that your body wasn't intended to have "any sort of chemicals inducted into it." Yet this is clearly a false statement, since everything you eat, drink, or breath, is an amalgamation of multitudes of chemical compounds. You also claim that "your earth didn't produce that crap," meaning tobacco smoke. However, "your earth" did produce tobacco. Sure, we're the ones who produce the smoke (those of us who smoke anyway, I'm a former smoker), but did you think the plant itself was somehow conjured into existence by some sorcerer many years ago? No, it's an organic substance, just like any other plant. As for the fact that humans are to blame for the existence of tobacco smoke: given the theory of evolution, your earth has also produced humans. So isn't it the case that "your earth" is really to blame for the smoke after all?

Good job, J.S. You give me some hope that there are rational people out there.

Bellevue (07.23.02)
in regards to your "not buying into the 2nd hand thing.." my best friend died of lung cancer this saturday. my friend was NOT a smoker.. his mother was. he died because of the 2nd hand smoke he had to recieve in his home from his mother. i think you should f%$#@ing think before you say something like that. if you had a son, and he died because of YOUR 2nd hand smoke, i wonder if you would "buy into it" then.

J.S. (07.23.02)
Bellevue: Sorry, I don't believe for a minute that your friend died from exposure to ETS. Say what you like, there is NO scientific evidence to back up your claim. In fact, all of the evidence supports the opposite conclusion, since there is no known pathology whereby smoking causes the diseases for which it is blamed.

Yes, J.S. appears to be unemployed as he posts on the page every five minutes or so, but at least he is logical and literate. Too bad he is not a biologist.

Some folks try to take a logical or factual approach to the whole thing. Don't waste the electrons, folks.

Vex (07.11.02) Something I forgot. Those of you who swear that smoking kills you should open your eyes. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, gets out of life alive. It will not happen so do not spend a lot of time counseling us why we're killing ourselves. The most important thing about being alive is making sure that you aren't ashamed of anything you did while you were still here

J.S. (07.10.02) Here are the facts regarding arsenic in cigarettes. Arsenic in American cigarette tobacco first became a concern way back in the 1930's. It was determined at that time that most of the arsenic came from insecticides used to control insects in the tobacco crop. As a result, arsenic insecticide use was discontinued and arsenic content in American tobacco dropped over a period of years as the chemical slowly dissipated from the fields that had been treated with the insecticide. Current arsenic content in tobacco is a result of organic absorbtion from soil or air. No arsenic is added to tobacco. The most recent data for the ingestion of arsenic by smoking dates from 1975. The average smoker smoked 2.5 packs of cigarettes per day. Given this volume of smoking, a smoker of filtered cigarettes ingested 5.3 micrograms of arsenic per day, whereas a smoker of unfiltered cigarettes ingested 7.5 micrograms of arsenic per day. By way of contrast, given the OSHA standard limit for arsenic exposure in 1975 (I don't know if this has changed since) which was 0.004 milligrams per cubic meter of air, a person exposed to this concentration of arsenic would ingest 11.520 micrograms of arsenic per day, a volume of arsenic nearly twice that ingested by the average smoker.
 
 

There is also a group of people who just plain hate the TV commercials.

honest young man (07.20.02) PLLLEEEEAAAASSSEE... no more dog shit or babies crawlin around in the commercials. please.

john bailey (07.20.02) I agree that smoking causes cancer and other health problems, however I think that the half thruths and unproven facts from minipulated study results just fuel the stupidity of the hardcore antismoking sheep. The goverments (state & fed) have created this fever as a way raise money(re-power). When there are no longer enough persons smoking to ensure this income, the focus will be place on some other so called health or enviromental "crisis"

thor carver (08.17.02) I dont smoke. I never have. Never had any urge. you people make me nauseous. third rate guerilla advertising propaganda machine. if people want to smoke themselves to death, good. less idiots in the world.
 

Attempts at HUMOR abound on the page.

I gotta give Darth Raider his props for this one.

DarthRaider (08.19.02) J.S., I'm afraid I'll have to contradict you here. I guarantee you that a CERTAIN group of people (the nonsmokers) ARE very sensitive and easily affected by 2ndhand smoke, and sadly I was one of them. I possessed a very compromised immune system, and the 2ndhand smoke has easily affected me from head to toe. Now, LOOK AT ME!! I'm nothing but a black, walking, life-sustaining machine (with a black body armor, a black mask and helmet, and an artificial iron lung), and this is the f*****g trash information you give me!!? I'm crushed, I'm heartbroken, I'm angered and consumed by vengeance on how infidels like YOU coldheartedly disdain the welfare of nonsmokers who deserve the right to breathe in a tobacco-free environment! I wanted to live a healthy life, and you smoking infidels took that away from me! Now because of your foolish choice to smoke, this has resulted in me becoming MORE MACHINE THAN MAN. I was forced to give up my previous identity, and I'm now as DARTH RAIDER. With this new identity and power, I shall exact revenge and conquer the tobacco-plagued galaxy and hunt down ALL tobacco/smoking propaganda (as well as illegal drugs). All you infidels may try to compare smoking with eating burgers and fries to try to defend in vain your "right" to smoke. Eating fast food doesn't affect onlookers, but smoking does affect nearby people and I AM one of those victims affected by 2ndhand smoke; my right to breathe freely was deliberately violated. In response of all that has happened to me, I amassed an army of TIE (Truth-InfEcting) fighters and destroyers which shall do my bidding for revenge by crushing ALL pro-tobacco propaganda with one swift stroke! And before I leave and continue to conquer the tobacco-plagued galaxy, keep in mind (I've said this before and I'll say it again) that the construction of the TRUTH STAR is in the works. Once this is fully operational, it will have the ability to generate enough power to completely wipe out and destroy an entire tobacco company. So y'all better brace yourselves because, soon enough, big tobacco WILL be going down!

Hunan (08.19.02) u like pee-pee? me like pee-pee. me no like you...

jar jar (08.25.02) meesa wonderin' whez dawth waider?

jar jar (08.25.02) meesa no like smokin' meesa thenks itsa so vewy bad and tobacco eendustwy is so cwaazy!! mmmhmm

The Tobacco-nator (08.25.02) Man, who the hell is this jar jar guy!!? I appreciate this so-called person's concern. But damnit, speak properly!!

 jar jar (08.25.02) hey, how wuuude!!

Editor (08.25.02) Tobacco-hater you need to follow your own advice to Jar Jar first. You should begin with a elementary English text first so your feeble brain won't become overwhelmed.

One guy dedicates all his posts to Liberace.

Shane Ballard (07.23.02)
Liberace hated reading Bob's ultra-long posts.

OK, so I did the pee-pee one. But that's the only post I've put on there.

Still, perhaps the most appalling thing about the TRUTH posts is the PATHETIC GRAMMAR of the everyday American.

april! (07.26.02) I dont even understand it is soo poitnless. Sure some people say they like the taste well cant you find some thing else you like the taste of like cake or somehthing sure that makes youmaybe a little bit fatter then ciggerettes but it doesnt harm you or others. Or maybe you smoke because you are depressed you smoke a ciggerete because it makes you "happy" well prozack will make you happy too! Dont say your doing it to rebel cause with so many people smoking theese days it is more rebeluos to not smoke. so as fyou see there are plenty of things to do besides smoke!

Ummm. Good one, April. Maybe your hidden talent is actually self mutilation.

The Anti TobaccoNator (08.26.02) TabacoNator You sound like the only nutt thats promoteing this politicaly correct anti tobacco crap, I hope you know your one in a million and people will see you for what you really are a fruitcake. By the way I've never smoked in my entire life, untill I saw these "truth" adds and the political agenda behind them, then I took up smoking cigars. Thanks TheTruth! Those cigars never tasted better, and it true smoking really does improve motor functions in fact its helping me to type this right now! Your welcome:)

Americans!! Listen! "Your" shows possession of something. For example, "Hey Green Teeth, is that your cigarette?" You're is the contraction of "you are" as in "You're welcome."  Learn English, you slack-jawed cretins.

Since I couldn't have said it better myself, I'll close with the post of a like-minded degenerate:

yeah (07.23.02) I know your parents were ugly and stupid and their defective genes combined to produce you horrible monsters but please don't torture the remaining few normal people in the world with your brain-dead comments that some f#@!$%ing hideous commercial put into your gullible sponge of a brain.
 

P.S. Thanks to INFKT TRUTH, I too took up smoking as a matter of principle. Below is a recent picture of me in Mexico with a fine Cuban cigar. Once the thrill of smoking cigars that I had illegally smuggled into the country wore off, I acquired the habit of dipping the Cuban in a rich liqueur of PCP and ethanol- a Sherman- at least that's what they called it on the documentary that my impressionable little brain soaked up back in 7th grade "science" class. Evidently the PCP combined with the arsenic, strychnine, lead, rat dung, McDonald's hamburger meat, dissident brain matter, and other abominable things that the big Cuban tobacco producers add to their cigars to make a hideously volatile concoction in my lungs. Soon I found myself racing down the street naked and enraged. But I had this feeling of righteous indignation like the Incredible Hulk in the 1970s when that deranged green monster clearly choose to maim and destroy the bad guys instead of some little kid that wandered into the scene just to make the point that, deep down, the Hulk knew right from wrong (see my upcoming article- The Declining State of Super Heros). In an instant I was at the Police station, raping anything bipedal and ripping the limbs off of the hapless police officers. I took one of the fattest cop's arm and beat a particularly menacing inmate senseless with it. I think I killed eight people total. Just another example of this TRUTH propaganda campaign running amuck.